How To Annoy The Characters Of Twilight
by Number-1- Twilighters
Summary: The ultiamate list of ways to annoy our favorite charaters. Really funny! R
1. edward

**Edward**

1. Sing Spice Girl songs over and over in your head.

2. Think about what would have happened if Bella picked Jacob.

3. Wreck his Volvo.

4. Blame Jacob.

5. Tell him that Jacob and Renesmee eloped.

6. Take his C.D. collection and replace it with music from the 50's, 60's, and 70's.

7. Lock him in a closet with Jacob and see who makes it out alive.

8. Have Emmett smash his piano.

9. Laugh as he attacks Emmett.

10. Call him names like Eddie-kins and Eddie-poo.

11. Ask him if he can pick up A.M. station yet. (A.K.A Bella's mind)

12. Buy him a dog and tell him that's its name is Jacob.

13. Ask him to turn into a bat for you.

14. Put all of his things over the boundary line so he can't get them.

15. Tell him that Mike kissed Bella.

**Authors note:**

**Hey here is the first chapter of our new story. We are still working on our "You know your obsessed with Twilight when" story but we are also going to go on with this one. If you have any ideas just let us know and we will put it on here if we like them. We have a new poll on our profile so go vote. The last day to vote is Oct. 30th. We are asking for 5 reviews before we update, if we get 10 reviews we will update the next two chapters so get those lil fingers going.**

**Madi and Sarah **

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black) **


	2. Jacob

**Jacob**

Go around calling "Here doggy".

Give him flea medication for Christmas.

Put his food in a dog bowl.

Make him go to anger management.

Call him J-Dog.

Tell him that there are WAY more Edward fans than Jacob fans.

Keep reminding him that Bella picked Edward over him.

Ask if he howls at the moon.

Crash his Volkswagen rabbit beyond repair.

Laugh when he cries.

Tell him if he sits, lays down, or rolls over you will give him a dog treat.

Howl like a wolf whenever he talks.

Tell him Leah imprinted on him.

Steal his clothes while he is in wolf form.

Tell him that your allergic to dogs.


	3. Alice

**Alice**

You cancel all of her credit cards.

You change your mind constantly.

Involve the werewolves in a major decision.

Replace all her clothes with cheap designer knock-offs.

Tell her that Bella and Edward eloped in Vegas.

Video tape her reaction and put it on YouTube.

Tell her that all the malls have shut down.

Wreck her precious Porsche.

Blame Emmett.

Ask her if she has a crystal ball that she uses.

Tell her that she's not a real psychic.

When something happens ask her if she saw that coming.

Show her your "vision face".

Wreck her closet.

Tell her that she's not allowed to play "Barbie Bella" anymore.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Thanks for the wonderful reviews and ideas! They really help us out a lot. **

**Since you guys gave us the ten reviews yesterday, we stuck to our word and updated the next two chapters. So we hoped you enjoyed it.**

**We also want to remind everyone to go vote at our poll. We will be closing it on Oct. 30, so be sure to go and vote!**

**We would also like to remind everyone to go and check out our other story on FanFiction. It's called "You Know You're Obsessed With Twilight When". It's really funny and good so go check it out.**

**We have also decided that since today's Friday, we are going to be asking for at least 6 reviews before we update again. It shouldn't take that long. So start typing them.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	4. Bella

Bella

Bella

1. Tell her that Alice wants to play "Barbie Bella".

2. Accidentally "break her truck.

3. Celebrate her birthday.

4. Tell her that Edward left her for Tanya.

5. Make her go on a date with Mike, Tyler, or Eric.

6. Put random objects on the floor in front of her so you can watch her trip.

7. Lock her in a mall for a week with Alice,

8. Remind her of all the teen girls who are in love with Edward.

9. Sign her up for a sport that requires hand-eye coordination.

10. Laugh as she fails miserably.

11. Tell her that Victoria, James, and Laurent are back to get her.

12. Buy her something.

13. Tell her that the Volturi are coming for her.

14. Steal her charm bracelet.

Ask her how it feels to always be older than Edward.

**Authors note:**

**Hello again thanks so much for the reviews we really liked them and they were truly helpful.**

**We would like to remind you guys to vote on our poll on our profile. The last day to go vote is Oct. 30 so vote and we will tell you who wins on Nov. 1.**

**Also we would like to remind you that we have another story called "You Know Your Obsessed With Twilight When…" so don't forget about it. It's pretty funny.**

**It's Monday and you're getting back in the weekday grove so we want 6 reviews today because we know you can do it. Ideas and flames are welcome. We prefer ideas. LOL**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	5. rosalie

**Rosalie**

1. take away all the mirrors in the house.

2. Accuse her of having plastic surgery.

3. Dye her hair hot pink and lime green.

4. Lock her in a room with Jacob for a whole week.

5. Wreck her convertible so that she cant fix it.

6. Keep telling her as many dumb blonde jokes as you can come up with.

7. You put a "Team Jacob" Bumper sticker on her convertible.

8. Replace all of her clothes with clothes that are oversized and baggy.

9. Tell her all the positive things of being human.

10. Remind her that Edward picked Bella over her.

11. Tell her that she's ugly.

12. Run fast if you value your life.

13. Ask her if she uses botox, since she hasn't had plastic surgery.

14. Stick bubblegum in her hair.

15. Set her up on a date with Jacob.

**Authors note: **

**We would like to say thank you SO much for all the reviews we got we really appciate getting reviews because we want to know what you guys think about our stories. **

**Ok so I got a few reviews on how people would like to see Rosalie's so here it is. I would like to here which ****characters** **you guys would like to see in my next chapter, I have them in no order.**

**Our poll has been up for awhile and so far Twilight is winning with 10 votes, Breaking Dawn is next with 7, Eclipse has 4 votes, that means new moon is last, with 2 votes. Our poll is on our bio if you want to vote the last day to vote would be on October 30 we will let you know who won on either Halloween or November 1****st****. We haven't decided yet.**

**I want to ask for 6 reviews before I update, I would like to hear what you think and who you want to think about next. **

** Madi and Sarah**

** (A.K.A Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	6. Jasper

Jasper

**Jasper**

Lock him in a room with pregnant women.

Video tape what happens.

Change your emotions every five seconds.

Call him Jazzypoo.

Ask him why he's always hormonal.

Keep reminding him that the Confederate's lost.

"Accidentally" give yourself a paper cut in front of him.

Lock him in a room with PMSing women.

Laugh hysterically.

Tell Alice that he wants to go shopping.

Get Alice excited. (Do I have to say more :D)

Speak in a southern accent when he is around.

Ask him what it feels like to always be the weakest link.

When he asks you to do something salute him and say "On it General".

Whenever you see him say "Humans are friends. Not food.".

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Thanks for the wonderful reviews once again. We really appreciate it so much.**

**We went ahead and did Jasper today, since everybody was asking for him. Be sure to tell us what you want the next character to be, and be sure to give us any ideas you may have.**

**We would also like to remind everybody to go and vote at our poll for your favorite book in the series. Right now Twilight is winning. We will be closing it on Oct. 30, so go and vote if you haven't yet.**

**We would also like to tell you guys to go and check out our other story we have on FanFiction. Just go to our bio to get the link to it.**

**We will be asking for 5 reviews before we update again. It shouldn't take that long, when we get them we will update as soon as possible!**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	7. Emmett

**Emmett**

Dump green paint on him and run away screaming "Run! It's the Hulk!".

Tell him that what he thinks is muscle is really fat.

Keep reminding him that Bella beat him in the arm-wrestling contest.

Drive his jeep off a cliff.

Tell him that grizzlies became extinct.

Call him "Emmie".

Accuse him of using steroids.

Don't laugh at any of his jokes.

Challenge him to a breath holding contest, and accuse him of cheating.

Ask him why he likes to hunt the animal that almost killed him.

Tell him a dumb blonde joke, because he will end up telling it to Rosalie.

Laugh as Rosalie yells at him.

Make sure that Bella never falls around him.

Ask him if he will ever grow up.

Take away all his video games.

**Author's Note: **

**Thank you guys so much for the reviews. They really help us out. We love to know what you think of the story.**

**You guys asked for Emmett so we gave you Emmett. Don't forget to go vote on the poll. The last day to vote will be on November 1****st****. Be sure to go and vote if you haven't yet!**

**We would like at least 6 reviews before we update again. We have also decided that if you can give us 12 reviews before tomorrow afternoon, we will post two chapters. So go and review if you want them.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	8. Carlisle

Carlisle

**Carlisle**

Replace all his medical supplies with fake plastic kids ones.

2. Talk in a British Accent around him.

3. Ruin his paintings in his office.

4. Trash his Mercedes.

5. Video tape his reaction to number 3 and 4.

6. Call him Carly.

7. Tell him that he's old.

8. Call him a stupid vegetarian.

9. Pronounce his name wrong every time.

10. Tell him that you know about the human that he thought was a "bear".

11. When you see him run away saying "The British are coming! The British are coming!"

12. Make sure that Bella falls downs a lot and gets hurt.

13. Tell every nurse in the hospital that he's single.

14. Take his stethoscope and try to listen to his heart, then call an ambulance because you can't hear his heartbeat.

Burn down the hospital.

**Authors note:**

**I didn't get all six reviews yesterday I guess this story isn't as popular as our other story. We are updating anyways because it's Friday so I am giving you a freebee. This is the only time we will do this.**

**I would like to say thank you to the ones who did review:**

**Galelasa Undomiel****, ****twilightrox2201****, ****Taylor n' Taylor****, ****courtney7224****, and ****Jasper-is-a-God**** thank you guys I liked your reviews even though you're a key on you key bored wasn't working LOL.**

**The poll is getting closer to the cut-off date so if you haven't voted you better hurry up. The poll is on our Bio.**

**I would like six reviews before I update again this time for real. Six because it's the weekend and I think you can do it.**


	9. Esme

-1

**Esme**

Rearrange all the furniture in the house.

Get Emmett and Edward into a fight so that they will destroy the house in the process.

Burn down the house.

Call her Momma Vamp.

Roll in mud and then go lay down on all of the white furniture.

Run fast.

Ask her if she knows how Bella and her are similar.

When she says that she doesn't tell her that they both jumped off cliffs.

Ask her how her first child is.

When the Cullen's go hunting throw a HUGE party at the Cullen house and be sure to trash the place.

Shave her head.

Tell her that someone killed Carlisle.

Tell her about all the nurses at the hospital that are basically in love with Carlisle.

Have Emmett and Bella arm wrestle on one of her antique tables.

Laugh as she yells at them.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews we got! They really help us sooooo much!**

**We would like to remind everybody to go and vote for your favorite book in the series at our poll. Right now Twilight is still winning. So if you haven't voted be sure to go and vote.**

**Since everybody was asking for Esme we decided to give you Esme. This chapter was really hard to write, because she is sooo sweet. Be sure to tell us what character you want next.**

**We have decided that we would like to have at least 6 reviews before we update again. Our school is off on Fall Break this week so the updates can come faster than usual.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	10. Sam

-1**Sam**

Draw scares on your face and run around saying "Look! I'm Emily!"

Ask him how Leah is doing while he is with Emily.

Call him pup.

When he tells you to do something tell him that you don't have to because he's not the real alpha.

Ask him how Emily got her scars.

Take all of his stuff and put it over the boundary line.

Call him Sammie-Dog.

Tell him that he's evil because he has black fur.

Set him up on a date with Leah.

Ask him if he and Emily are going to have puppies.

Kidnap Emily.

Throw a ball at him and tell him to go fetch.

Tell him that Leah and him would make such a cute couple.

Avoid him when there's a full moon out.

15. Tell him that he has serious anger issues

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Thanks for the wonderful reviews once again! We really appreciate them.**

**Since people were asking for some of the La Push pack, we decided to give you Sam today. We hope you enjoyed it.**

**Remember to go and vote in our poll if you haven't yet. Twilight is still winning as everyone's favorite book. Be sure to go and vote if you haven't yet. The poll will be closing on Oct. 30 or Oct 31 so go vote!**

**We have decided that we will be asking for at least 5 reviews before we update again. It shouldn't take that long, and when we get all three we will update as soon as possible.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	11. Charlie

Charlie

**Charlie**

1. You drive his police cruiser with the lights on and siren blaring and arrest people in the passing cars.

2. You crash his car.

3. Tell him that Bella and Edward eloped.

4. "Accidentally" tell him that Edward sneaks in every night in Bella's room.

5. Video tape his reaction to number 4.

6. Break all his fishing poles in half.

7. Ask him why Renee left.

8. Tell him that Bella is pregnant.

9. Tell him the Cullen's are vampires.

10. Take his handcuffs and handcuff him to the kitchen table.

11. Put him in the back seat of the cruiser and drive around Forks and La Push.

12. Sell his T.V. on eBay.

13. Tell him that baseball was canceled.

14. When he walks into the room start quoting the Miranda Rights.

15. Keep asking him to borrow his gun.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Thanks again for the wonderful reviews. They really help us know that we are on the right track.**

**Since everyone was asking for Charlie or Renee we decided to give you Charlie. We thought that he was really fun and easy to write. We hope that you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed writing it. Remember to tell us who you want next and we'll try to do it.**

**Remember to go and vote at our poll if you haven't yet. Twilight is still winning as your favorite book. The poll will be closing on Oct. 30, so go and vote if you haven't yet.**

**Since today is Tuesday we will only be asking for 5 reviews. We know you guys can do it! If you give us 12 we will update two chapters tomorrow instead of just one. **

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	12. Leah

Leah

**Leah**

1. Keep reminding her that Sam picked Emily.

2. Ask her about the details of Sam and Emily's wedding.

3. Remind her that she doesn't have a major role in any of the books.

4. Tell her that vampires rule.

5. Remind her that she probably will never get married.

6. Call her "Lee Lee".

7. Get "Barbie Girl" stuck in Jacob's head that way she has to listen to it in wolf form.

8. When she starts throwing a fit say "Bad Dog!".

9. Ask her what it feels like to be a freak of nature.

10. When she gets wet tell her that she smells like wet dog.

11. Tell her that she should have died in Breaking Dawn.

12. Tell her that Jacob imprinted on her.

13. Video tape her reaction to number 12.

14. Tell her that Emily is pregnant.

15. Show her this list.


	13. Mike

Mike

**Mike**

1. Call him "Mikey"

2. Show him pictures of Edward and Bella's wedding.

3. Constantly compare him to Edward, by saying how much better Edward is.

4. Tell him to met you after school where you know Edward and Bella will be kissing.

5. Tell him that Edward can read his mind.

6. Video tape his reaction to number 5.

7. Wear a shirt that says "I'm with stupid" and walk next to him all day.

8. Wreck his car.

9. Tepee his house and egg it.

10. Show him a picture of Renesmee.

11. Have all the Team Edward fans beat him up.

12. Ask him if he's related to Isaac Newton.

13. Give him a bone for his birthday because he acts like a Golden Retriever.

14. Tell him that the Cullen's are vampires.

15. Give him an all-expense paid trip to Italy after number 14.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Since you gave us the 12 reviews, we followed through and gave you the two chapter instead of just one this time.**

**We would like to say that we're sorry for not updating sooner. We had been having some technical difficulties with our computer that we use. But it's all fixed now.**

**We would like to remind everybody to go and vote at our poll if you haven't yet. Twilight is still winning as your favorite book in the series. The poll will be closing on Oct. 30, so go and vote if you haven't yet.**

**Since today is Friday we will be asking for at least 10 reviews before we update again. It shouldn't take that long to get them. And remember to tell us which person you want us to drive insane next.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	14. Aro

Aro

**Aro **

1. Expose the vampires.

2. Pretend that you have an awesome power that you know that no vampire has.

3. Video tape his reaction to number 2.

4. Keep trying to convince him to try the "vegetarian diet".

5. Have Bella block your thoughts.

6. Give him a bunch of brochures for a lot of retirement homes.

7. Act as happy as him.

8. Call him "Arrie".

9. Start singing "Air" every time you see him.

10. Redecorate the castle.

11. Keep reminding him that Alice and Edward will never join the Volturi.

12, Replace his cloak and the rest of the Volturi's with bright pink ones.

13. Dye his hair baby blue.

14. Have the Cullen's kidnap Jane and Alec.

15, Light his cloak on fire.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Thanks for reviewing once again! We really appreciate it so much. It really helps us with coming up with ideas.**

**We would like to remind everybody to go and vote at our poll on our bio for your favorite book in the series if you haven't yet. Twilight is still winning. We will be closing it on Oct. 30, so if you haven't voted yet be sure to go and vote! The time is almost up!**

**Since today is Monday, we will be only asking for 6 reveiws. We know that you guys can do it. It shouldn't take that long to get them. So the faster you type them the faster we will update the next chapter. Be sure to tell us who you want us to do next.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	15. Cauis

Cauis

**Cauis**

1. Tell him to turn that frown upside down.

2. Take a permanent marker and draw a mustache on his face.

3. Every time you see him go around singing "Don't Worry…Be Happy".

4. Ask him if he's an albino.

5. When he says no give him a bottle of instant tan.

6. Give him a bunch of brochures for anger management classes.

7. Give him a hug.

8. Get a bunch of smiley face stickers and put them on his face when you think that he was "good".

9. Spray him with silly string.

10. Replace his cloak with a bright green one.

11. Ask him how it feels to be the only one of the Volturi that doesn't' have a special power.

12. Have Jasper keep changing his emotions constantly.

13. Lock him in a room with the werewolves.

14. Cut off all of his hair.

15. Light his cloak on fire.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. They really help us to know what improvements you want for this story.**

**Everybody is seeming to want us to do Renesmee. We also think that Renesmee would be great to do too. When we started this story, we thought that is would be great to do Renesmee as the last chapter. Sort of like the Grand Finale for the story. So we would like to say that we will be doing her in the near future, but not just now. We are sorry to disappoint anyone.**

**Now that that's out of the way, we would like to remind everybody to go and vote at our poll if you haven't already yet. Twilight is still winning as your guys' favorite book in the series. We will be closing the poll on Oct. 30, so go and vote if you haven't yet.**

**We decided that since you gave us the 6 reviews so fast yesterday, we will be asking for 6 again. It shouldn't take that long to get all of them. When we get them we will update as soon as possible. Also be sure to tell us any suggestions or people you would like to see.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	16. Jane

**Jane**

1. Keep reminding her that her powers don't work on Bella.

2. You pour blue paint on her and run around screaming, "Smurf!"

3. Have Bella keep her shield over you at all times.

4. Imitate every thing that she does.

5. Call her "Jay Jay".

6. Ask her if she was in the movie Tarzan.

7. Follow her around every where she goes.

8. Force her to eat nothing but animals for a couple of years.

9. Constantly remind her that Bella's power is way better than hers.

10. Cut off all of her hair.

11. Make her watch 'Barney' and 'Blues Clues' videos.

12. Ask her if she suffers from insomnia.

13. Give her a prescription for Lunesta, when she says no.

14. Lock her in a room with the real werewolves.

15. Take her to a nice restaurant and when you go to sit down ask her if she wants a booster seat.

**Authors Note:**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews we received last night you posted a lot! Reviews help us to know how you guys like our story.**

**The poll is almost coming to a close so hurry and vote if you haven't already. To no surprise Twilight is still in the lead. The poll is on our Bio and asks what book in the Twilight series you like the best.**

**Today is Wednesday so we're only asking for 5 reviews before we update. We want to know who you want to see next and which ideas you like the best so let us know. **

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	17. Marcus

**Marcus**

1. You ask him how Didyme is doing.

2. Call him "Markie".

3. Give him a prescription for anti-depressants,

4. Ask him if he goes to a therapist for his depression.

5. When he says no, give him a bunch of brochures of different therapists.

6. Go round singing "You are my Sunshine".

7. Give him vampire fangs and make him wear them on Halloween.

8. Bejewel his cloak and clothes.

9. Have Jasper make his emotions as happy as Aro is.

10. Ask if he's suicidal.

11. Follow him around every where he goes.

12. Buy a bunch of the smiley face stickers that they give out at Wal-Mart and put them all over his face.

13. Tell him that he needs to be more enthusiastic about things.

14. Dye his hair neon orange.

15. Make fun of "Saint Marcus Day".

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Thanks for the wonderful reviews once again! We really appreciate it so much. We love knowing what we are doing wrong and what we are doing right with this story.**

**We would like to remind everybody to go and vote at our poll on our bio if you haven't already yet. Twilight is still winning as your guys favorite book in the series. Remember that we will be closing it on Oct. 30, so go and vote if you haven't yet!**

**Since today is Tuesday, we will only be asking for 6 reviews it shouldn't take too long to get all of them. Be sure to tell us what you thought about this chapter and who you would like us to do next. When we get all 6 of them, we will update as soon as possible.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	18. Jessica

Jessica

**Jessica**

1. Keep reminding her that Bella picked Edward.

2. Give her a love letter that says "Meet me at this restaurant. From Edward", but when she goes there have it be a 50 year old man named Edward. (Kari-Jani)

3. Give her a picture of Bella and Edward kissing.

4. Tell her that Mike dumped her to go after Bella.

5. Constantly compare her to Bella.

6. Lock her in a room with Bella.

7. Turn the whole school against her.

8. Take her phone away that way she can't gossip.

9. Call her "Jessie Jess".

10. Tell her that Edward is a vampire and he's out to get her.

11. Call her ugly and fat.

12. Take her to Volterra.

13. Ask her why she thinks that every body wants to date Bella.

14. Show her pictures of Edward and Bella's wedding.

15. Sing the "ABC's" every time you see her.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Thanks for the wonderful reviews once again! We really appreciate it so much. We love knowing what we are doing wrong and what we are doing right with this story.**

**We would like to remind everybody to go and vote at our poll on our bio if you haven't already yet. Twilight is still winning as your guys favorite book in the series. Remember that we will be closing it on Oct. 30, so go and vote if you haven't yet!**

**Since today is Friday, we will only be asking for 6 reviews it shouldn't take too long to get all of them. Be sure to tell us what you thought about this chapter and who you would like us to do next. When we get all 6 of them, we will update as soon as possible.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	19. Tanya

Tanya

**Tanya**

1. Keep showing her pictures of Bella's and Edward's wedding.

2. Tell her every time you see her that Edward prefers brunettes.

3. Read off a list of reasons of how Bella is better than her.

4. Follow her around singing really annoying songs like Barbie Girl.

5. Set her up on a date with one of the werewolves from La Push.

6. Call her a dumb blonde.

7. Make Jacob say a lot of his dumb blonde jokes around her.

8. Ask her how it feels to be the only one in the Denali Coven without a mate.

9. Ask her if she's going to stay single for forever.

10. Call her "Tay Tay".

11. Have Jasper make her extremely jealous when she sees Edward and Bella together.

12. Dye her hair bright orange.

13. Replace all of her clothes with clothes that are two sizes to big.

14. Wear a shirt that says "Edward and Bella forever" on it when ever you see her.

15. Show her this list.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys!!! Thanks for the wonderful reviews!!! We really appreciate it! They help us out sooo much!**

**We would like to remind everybody to go and vote at our poll if you haven't yet. Remember we will be closing the poll on Oct. 31. So go and vote yet if you haven't!**

**Since today is Monday we will only be asking for 6 reviews today. We know that you guys can do it! Once we get all 6 we will update as soon as possible! Be sure to tell us who you want us to do next!**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	20. Paul

Paul

**Paul**

1. Make him go to anger management classes every day.

2. Steal all of his shoes.

3. Call him "Paulie".

4. Sing the "Tellitubies" theme song over and over and over.

5. Ask him if it's "The Time Of The Month" when he gets angry.

6. Lock him in a room with a bunch of vampires.

7. Shave off his eye brows.

8. While he's asleep take a permanent marker and draw a mustache and goatee on his face.

9. Set him up on a date with Leah.

10. When he's in "Wolf Form" ask him to chase his tail for you.

11. Ask him how it feels to have to take orders all the time.

12. Dye his hair neon green.

13. Ask him how it feels to have Nessie as his future niece.

14. Make him go on a diet.

15. Call an ambulance for him because he was running a high fever.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys!! Thanks for the wonderful reviews once again! We really appreciate knowing what you think about it.**

**We would like to remind everybody once again to go and vote at our poll on our bio if you haven't yet. Twilight is still winning as your guys favorite book in the series. It will be closing on Oct. 30, so go and vote if you haven't already. **

**Since today is Tuesday we will only be asking for 5 reviews today. It shouldn't take that long to get all of them. When we get them all we will update as soon as possible. Be sure to tell us who you want us to do next in this story.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	21. Lauren

**Lauren**

1. Talk in the same nasal voice as her.

2. Lock her in a room with Bella.

3. Cut off all of her hair and eyebrows.

4. Give her a note that says Edward wants to meet her somewhere but send a 5-year old instead.

5. Show her pictures of Renesmee and Edward and Bella's wedding.

6. Cut up all of her clothes and tell her that it's in style now as your excuse for doing it.

7. Set her up on a date with Eric.

8. Bring her to a place where you know Edward and Bella will be kissing.

9. Ask her how it feels to not be one of the main characters in the books.

10. Wreck her vehicle.

11. Ask her how it feels to have all of the guys asking out Bella.

12. List a whole bunch of reasons of how Bella is better than her.

13. Make her fall down in gym so that she will embarrass herself.

14. Make her watch a little kids show like Dora or SpongeBob.

15. Tell her that the Cullen's are vampires and are out to get her.

**Author's Note: **

**Hey guys! Thanks for reviewing once again! We really appreciate it! Your reviews really help us out so much! **

**First off we would like to say that we are sorry for not replying to a lot of you guy's reviews. We really try are hardest with it, but we have been so busy with stuff in school like tests that we were having a hard time trying to get you the next chapters. We are sorry if we upset anybody by not replying, we really are trying are hardest at getting better. Please don't be afraid to tell us anything. We would like to apologize for it. We really do appreciate it sooooo much when you guys review. **

**We would like to remind everybody to go and vote at our poll if you haven't already yet. Twilight is still winning with a pretty big lead. Be sure to go and vote if you haven't yet. The poll will be closing on Oct. 30. Only 1 day left, so go and vote if you haven't yet!**

**Since today is Wednesday we will only be asking for 6 reviews. We know that you guys can do it. We would like to say sorry in advance if we don't reply to them. When we get all 6 of them we will try to update as soon as possible. Be sure to tell us who you want us to do next.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**

Bottom of Form


	22. Victoria

Victoria

**Victoria**

1. Pour a bucket of water on her because thought that her hair was on fire.

2. Keep reminding her that Edward killed James.

3. Tell her that you think that she should take counseling or yoga to control her temper.

4. Tell her that she would have better luck if she acted more like Bella.

5. Rip up a picture of James.

6. Call her "Icky Vicky".

7. When you see her start singing "I'm so lonely".

8. Have her expose the vampires and then send her to Italy.

9. Ask her why she loved a crazy person.

10. Tell her that you think that James's craziness rubbed off on her.

11. Release all of the Edward and Jacob fans on her.

12. Remind her that she failed to avenge her mate.

13. Talk in a high squeaky voice when she's around.

14. Keep telling her that she died in Eclipse.

15. Show her this list.

**Author's Note: **

**Hey guys!!!!! Thanks for the wonderful reviews once again. We really appreciate them so much!!!**

**Yesterday was the last day to vote at the polls for your favorite book in the Twilight series. Twilight won with 53 votes, followed by Breaking Dawn with 28 votes, then Eclipse with 19 votes, and New Moon came in last with 5 votes. We would like to say thanks to everybody who voted on the poll. We really appreciate it. We will be putting up another poll soon. So be on the lookout for it!**

**Since today is Thursday, we will only be asking for 6 reviews. We know you guys can do it! It shouldn't take that long to get them. We will try to update as soon as possible, even though Halloween's tomorrow. Be sure to tell us who you want us to do next!**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	23. James

**James**

1. Call him "Jamie".

2. Keep reminding him that he didn't kill Bella.

3. Remind him that he was the first person to die.

4. Make him watch a bunch of little kid shows on T.V.

5. Reenact his death scene in the book using puppets.

6. Chase him around with garlic and a wooden stake,

7. Make up a game and make him play it with you and change the rules every five minutes.

8. Accuse him of cheating while playing it.

9. Sign him up for therapy.

10. Lock him in a room with Edward and Jacob.

11. Tell him that Victoria must not have loved him because she's with Riley now.

12. Keep reminding him that Laurent and Victoria are dead.

13. Make him wear a cape that looks like one that Dracula would wear, plus fake plastic fangs.

14. Replace all of his clothes with girl's clothes.

15. Show him this list.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys!!!!!!!!! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews once again!! We really appreciate it soooo much.**

**We would like to say that we are sorry that it took us so long to update this story. We have been really busy this past week, so we didn't have enough time to update.**

**We would like to tell you guys also that we will be putting up a new poll soon, so be and the lookout for that. We will try to get one up as soon as possible.**

**Since today is Wednesday, we will only be asking for 6 reviews before we update again. When we get all 6 we will update as soon as possible. Be sure to give us any ideas you may have and who you want us to do next.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	24. Quil

**Quil**

1. Call him "Quillie-kins".

2. Kidnap Claire.

3. Dress Claire up as a vampire complete with the black cloak and plastic fangs for Halloween.

4. Make fun of his name.

5. Give him a shirt for Christmas that says "I Love Vampires".

6. Brainwash Claire into thinking that werewolves stink, while vampires are awesome.

7. Only talk to him like you would talk to a baby.

8. Give him a bunch of brochures for different diets because you think that him and the pack eat to much.

9. Have Jasper affect his emotions so that he will explode into fur every few minutes.

10. Convince Claire to give him a makeover complete with makeup and girls clothes.

11. Take lots of pictures and show them to the pack.

12. Make sure that he only eats health food as part of his "diet".

13. Shave off all of his hair and eyebrows.

14. Keep reminding him that Embry and Jacob became werewolves before he did.

15. Make Claire wear a shirt that says "Team Edward".

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys!!! We are sooooo sorry for taking such a long time to update this story. We were going to update Friday but one of us (cough*Madi*cough) lost the flash drive that had this chapter on it. But we found it so it's all good now. Once again we're sorry.**

**We would like to thank everybody that reviewed for the last chapter. We really appreciate it so much. It really helps us out so much. It helps us write the next chapters faster.**

**We would like to tell everybody to go and vote at our poll that we put up. The poll this time is "Do you like the songs on the Twilight soundtrack?". We really want to know what you guys think so go and vote. We will be closing the poll on November 30. So be sure to go and vote.**

**Since today is Monday, we will be asking for at least 6 reviews, before we update again. When we get all 6 we will try to update as soon as possible. Be sure to tell us who you want us to do next.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	25. Tyler

**Tyler**

1. Remind him that he almost killed Bella. (annabethchase45)

2. Call him "Ty Ty".

3. Keep telling him that Bella said no to him when he asked her to go to the prom. (annabethchase45)

4. Put super glue in his car seat.

5. Then put hot pink paint in a bucket above his bedroom door so that it will spill all over him when he opens it.

6. Tell him that you're Bella's lawyer and she's suing him for crashing into her with his van.

7. Pull him over in Charlie's cruiser for "speeding" and be sure to handcuff him and take him down town.

8. Make him watch a bunch of sappy chick flicks with you.

9. Give him a shirt for his birthday that has a picture of Bella and Edward on it from their wedding.

10. Call him telling him that he won an all-expensed paid trip to Volterra, Italy.

11. Set him up on a blind date with an old lady.

12. Paint his car bright blue with purple polka dots, because you think that Bella would like it that way.

13. Have Alice give him one of her extreme makeovers.

14. Tell him that all the guys from La Push are werewolves and they're out t get him.

15. Show him what the Cullens look in the sunlight.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys!!! Thanks for the wonderful reviews once again! We really appreciate it soooo much! They really help us out.**

**We would like to remind everyone to go and vote at our poll if you haven't already yet. We want to know if you like the Twilight soundtrack or not. Be sure to go and vote if you haven't already yet. We will be closing it on November 30. So go vote!**

**Since today is Wednesday, we will only be asking for 6 reviews. It shouldn't take that long to get them. When we get all 6 of them we will update as soon as possible. Also, be sure to tell us who you want our next victim to be.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	26. Renee

**Renee**

1. Make her live in a place that rains all year round like Forks.

2. Lock her in a closet with Charlie for a couple of days.

3. Have Jacob or someone else from the La Push pack phase into a werewolf in front of her.

4. Call her "Re-Re"

5. Tell her that Bella is pregnant.

6. Treat her like a little kid because Bella said that she acts like one.

7. Wreck her house in Florida.

8. Tell her that Bella and Edward went to Vegas and eloped.

9. Call her randomly and keep telling her that she won an all-expense paid trip to Forks.

10. Make her trip and then say you know where Bella got her clumsiness from.

11. Kidnap Phil.

12. Instead of calling her Renee Dwyer, start calling her Renee Swan.

13. Tell her that Charlie is still in love with her.

14. Send her love letters that say they are from Charlie.

15. Wear a shirt that has a picture of her and Charlie's wedding day on it that says "Forever" on it.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys!!! Thanks again for your wonderful reviews!!! We really appreciate it so much!!! They really help us with coming up with the next chapters.**

**We would like to remind everybody to go and vote at our poll if you haven't already yet. We want to know if you like the Twilight soundtrack or not. We will be closing it on November 30, so go and vote if you haven't yet!!!  
Since today is Thursday, we will only be asking for 6 reviews before we update again. If shouldn't take that long to get them. When we get all 6 we will update as soon as possible!!!! Also, be sure to tell us who you want our next victim to be.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	27. Embry

-1**Embry**

1. Call him "Emmie-poo".

2. Set him up on a bunch of dates because he hasn't imprinted yet,

3. Make fun of his name.

4. Ask him if he has gotten his rabies shot yet.

5. Prank call his house constantly.

6. Tepee and egg his house every night.

7. Replace all of his clothes with pink ones because you think that tough guys wear pink.

8. When you think that he's sick take him to a vet.

9. Every time you see him you start singing "Hungry Like The Wolf".

10. Ask him how it feels to not know who his father is.

11. Every time you see a girl pass buy him ask him if he imprinted on her.

12. Start a game where you see how many times you can get him to phase into a werewolf by getting him angry.

13. When he is in werewolf form put a collar and leash on him so that he won't "run away".

14. Paint his fingernails and toenails bright pink to match the pink clothes.

15. Avoid him when a full moon is out.

**Author's Note:**

Hey guys!!! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews once again!!! We really appreciate it sooooo much!!! They really do help us out.

We would like to remind everybody to go and vote at our poll if you haven't already yet. We want to know what you think about the Twilight soundtrack. We will be closing the poll on November 30. So go and vote if you haven't already yet!!!!

Since today is Saturday, we will be asking for 6 reviews today. When we get all 6 of them we will update as soon as possible. Be sure to also tell us who you want us to do next.

-Madi and Sarah-

(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)


	28. Billy Black

**Billy Black**

1. Call him "B.B.".

2. Push him in his wheelchair as fast as you can and try to pop wheelies.

3. Steal his wheelchair.

4. Give tick and flea medication because he's around dogs so much.

5. Ask him how it feels to be the future father-in-law of the Loch Ness Monster.

6. Keep reminding him that the treaty was still broken.

7. Take out all of the furniture in the house.

8. Lock him in a room with a bunch of vampires that aren't the Cullens.

9. Keep reminding him of the time that Jacob ran away.

10. Start referring to him as "Papa Wolf".

11. Chase him around with a bunch of silver bullets.

12. Ask him about Sarah constantly,

13. Only answer him by barking like a dog.

14. When he's hungry give him Senior Dog food.

15. Ask him if he sent Jacob in for a checkup.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys!!! Thanks for reviewing once again!!! We really do appreciate it soooooo much!!! They really help us out when we are coming up with chapters.**

**We would like to remind everybody to go and vote at our poll if you haven't already yet. We want to know if you like the Twilight soundtrack or not. We will be closing the poll on November 30. So go and vote if you haven't already yet!!!**

**Since today is Monday, we will be asking for 6 reviews once again. It shouldn't take that long to get all 6 of them. When we get all 6 of them, we will update as soon as possible. Be sure to also tell us who you want us to do next and to give us any ideas you may have. They would be greatly appreciated!**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	29. Laurent

**Laurent**

1. Call him "La-La".

2. Have a couple of friends and you act out his death scene in New Moon.

3. List a bunch of different reasons of why Irina never loved him.

4. Follow him around and copy everything he does.

5. Keep reminding him that he was killed in New Moon.

6. Tell him that the Volturi killed Irina.

7. Make him read a bunch of little kids books like "Goldy Locks" and "The Bernstein Bears".

8. Paint his finger nails light pink saying that he needs to get in touch with his feminine side.

9. Put bright blue highlights in his hair.

10. Release Edward on him because he tried to kill Bella.

11. Give him a bunch of stuffed Wolves for Christmas and name them after the pack.

12. When you're speaking to him say everything backwards.

13. Then start saying everything in Pig Latin.

14. Tell him that Irina cheated on him.

15. Rip his clothes into shreds.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Thanks for reviewing once again! We really do appreciate soooo much!!!**

**Can you believe that there is only 1 more day left till the movie?!? It seems just yesterday that they were just picking who would play the characters! We are sooooooo excited and we know that you guys are too!!!!! Even though some people have waited a whole lot longer for this movie to come out. Madi has been waiting for it since last Christmas and she has even been telling people that this is like her early Christmas present. We just had to say something about it because it's so close! We've had our tickets for weeks! **

**Okay, we would like to remind everybody to go and vote at our poll if you haven't already yet. We want to know if you like the soundtrack or not. We will be closing it on November 30, so if you haven't voted be sure to go and vote!**

**We are going to do something different today concerning the reviews. Since the movie is coming out THIS FRIDAY, we won't be asking for a certain amount of reviews today. We still want to know what you think on this chapter, but we aren't asking for a certain amount. We are giving you guys a freebie today. We will update as soon as possible! Odds are we will tomorrow but it depends if our teachers want to pile us with homework or not. Also, if you want us to do a certain person in the next chapter, please tell us. We want to make our readers happy, but we can't do that if you don't tell us who you want us to do.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	30. Kate

**Kate**

1. Call her "Kit-Kat"

2. Tell her that the Volturi killed Garrett.

3. Every time you see her act like you have been shocked by her power.

4. Fix her hair where it stands strait up, looking like she was shocked.

5. Take a taser and go around shocking people with it saying your acting like her.

6. Make her wear a superhero cape that says "Electric Storm" on the back of it.

7. Tell her that the werewolves captured Garrett.

8. Show her a picture that you edited that looks like Garrett is kissing Tanya.

9. Remind her that the Volturi killed Irina.

10. Write a love letter to her saying it was from Aro.

11. Dump glue and a bunch of feathers on her.

12. Get everybody to ignore her.

13. Tell her that one of the wolves from the pack imprinted on her.

14. Wear a ring that looks like an engagement ring and tell her that Garrett gave it to you and your planning the wedding.

15. Ask her to be one of the bridesmaids.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys!!!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!! We really do appreciate it soooooo much!!!! They really help us out sooooo much!! **

**Can you believe that the movie is coming out TOMMORROW!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? We can't believe it!!!!!! Everybody has waited so long for it!! And it's coming on tomorrow!!!!!! Sorry we just had to get that out of our system!**

**We would like to remind everybody to go and vote at our poll if you haven't already. We want to know if you like the soundtrack or not. We really appreciate the people who have voted so far. We will be closing it on November 30. So go and vote if you haven't already yet!**

**Thank you guys for the reviews for yesterday. Today we will be asking for at least 6 reviews. We know that you guys can do it! It shouldn't take that long to get them. When we get all of them we will update as soon as possible with the next chapter. Be sure to tell us who you want us to do next. We are thinking of stopping at chapter 40 too, so we want to know what you think about that also.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	31. Emily

**Emily**

1. Keep reminding her that she broke Sam and Leah up.

2. Draw scars on your face and go around saying that you're her.

3. Call her the "Wolf Girl".

4. Ask her if her and Sam are going to have puppies.

5. Give her little dogs clothes for them.

6. Tell her that the pack hates her cooking.

7. Show her a picture of Leah and Sam kissing.

8. Send her and Sam to couple's therapy because you think that Sam and her need to work out his "anger issues".

9. Have a couple of friends and you act out the scene when Sam gave her the scars on her face.

10. Give her medication to make the scars disappear.

11. Tell her that the Volturi kidnapped Sam and our using him as their guard dog.

12. Put bright red hair coloring in her shampoo.

13. Paint her and Sam's house neon pink with orange strips saying that it's "in style" now.

14. Replace all of their furniture with little kids furniture.

15. Make her and Sam eat out of dog bowls.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys!!!! Thanks so much for reviewing!!! We really appreciate it sooo much!!!!!!! **

**We would like to remind everybody to go and vote at the poll if you haven't already yet. We want to know if you like the Twilight soundtrack or not. We will be closing it on November 30, so go and vote if you haven't already yet!**

**Since everybody will probably be going to the movie tonight, we will not be asking for any reviews! We have decided to give you guys another freebie, since the movie came out today! But when you review and you have seen the movie already please don't spoil anything because Madi hasn't seen it yet and she won't see it till 7:10 tonight! So please don't spoil anything because the reviews will be coming on her phone's email and she might accidently read one. Thanks again!**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	32. Angela

**Angela**

1. Call her "Angie".

2. Change her grades to D's and F's.

3. Make her the center of attention.

4. Go make her to a Kung Fu movie marathon with Ben and his brother for the day.

5. Tell her that Ben is going to a college in another country.

6. Kidnap Ben.

7. Tell her parents that her and Ben got engaged.

8. Ambush her with silly string.

9. Keep calling her house saying that if she answers a question correctly that she'll win a bunch of money.

10. Tell her that Edward can read her mind.

11. Have Alice give her a makeover and force her to go shopping with her.

12. Send her to counseling to get over her "shyness".

13. Throw a bunch of water balloons at her.

14. Send her a bunch of love letters saying that they are from a secret admirer.

15. Tell her that the Cullen's are vampires and that Jacob is a werewolf.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys!!!! Thanks again for reviewing!!! We really appreciate it so much!!! They really help us out!**

**We would like to remind everybody to go and vote at the poll if you haven't already yet. We want to know what you think of the Twilight soundtrack. We will be closing it on November 30, so go and vote if you haven't already yet!!!!**

**We would like to tell everybody that we watched the movie and absolutely LOVED it!!!!! Even though there were things that they didn't have in it that were in the book, we thought that they did as good of a job that they could possibly could. Because lets face it, NO ONE is going to be able to portray our favorite book like we all imagined it. Sarah is telling everybody now that she wants to make mud pies with Jacob. LOL**

**We would also like to tell you guys that we have started a new story on FanFiction. It's called the **_**The Twilighter Times. **_**It's sort of like an online newspaper dedicated to Twilight. So be sure to go and check that out!**

**We will be asking for 6 reviews as usual. When we get all 6 of them we will update as soon as possible. **

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	33. Irina

**Irina**

1. Call her "Na Na"

2. Keep reminding her that the werewolves killed Laurent.

3. Then tell her that they are coming to get her now.

4. Change her cell phone ring tone to "Hungry Like The Wolf".

5. Then call her every couple of minutes.

6. Send her to therapy because you think that she has a problem with "holding grudges".

7. Keep reminding her that the Volturi killed her.

8. Give her a bunch of stuffed wolves for Christmas that have collars on them with the name of each person in the La Push pack.

9. Take scissors and cut up all of her clothes.

10. Make the Denali clan all wear Team Jacob shirts and hats.

11. Lock her in a room with the pack.

12. Dump bright orange paint on her.

13. Wear an "I'm With Stupid" T-shirt around her.

14. Call her a tattle-tale because she went to the Volturi about Nessie.

15. Tell her that every wolf in the pack imprinted on her.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to update, but we had way to many things going on with the holidays. **

**We have the results of the poll and it seems that the majority of the people who voted liked the soundtrack. 30 of you guys said yes and 6 of you guys said no. We will probably have a new poll up shortly.**

**We would like to tell you guys of our other FanFic that is out right now. Its called The Twilighter Times and it's like an online newspaper. Be sure to go and check it out!**

**We also have some bad news. We think that there will probably be only a couple more chapters till we finish this FanFic. We have pretty much done all of the main characters and we think that it might be time to stop this FanFic soon. **

**We will be asking for 6 reviews as usual today. It shouldn't take that long to get all of them. When we get all 6 of them we will update as soon as possible.**

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


	34. Renesmee

**Renesmee**

1. Talk in a Scottish accent around her.

2. Call her the mutant spawn.

3. Tell her that Jacob married Leah.

4. Call her future kids vampwolves.

5. Give her flea medication saying that she will need it.

6. Ask her how it feels to be in love with someone who was first in love with her mom.

7. Tell her that she doesn't even have a real name.

8. Show her a picture of Jacob kissing Bella.

9. Remind her of all the people who don't like her.

10. Make her dress up as the Lock Ness Monster.

11. Remind her that she almost killed her mother.

12. Tell her that she was an accident.

13. Shave off all of her hair and then spray her with silly string.

14. Declare a prank day on her.

15. Tell her how much her father doesn't like Jacob.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! We finished it!!! We have finished our how to annoy the characters!**

**We wouldn't have been able to get this far if we didn't have your guys support. We really appreciate it so much! Thanks for everything!**

**Even though we have finished this story we still have another one up on FanFiction that we are working on right now. If you haven't looked at it yet it's called the Twilighter Times. It's like an online newspaper completely dedicated to Twilight and it comes out every Monday. If you have any suggestions for it please PM us or leave a review. **

**-Madi and Sarah-**

**(A.K.A. Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Black)**


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